Today's Adventure in the Biz Opp Jungle:
'In which Charlie is targeted by a verbally-challenged scammer ... writes a revenge email BACK to him... and gets news on
The Racing Secrets.
Hi,
I was surprised to see an email in my inbox on Monday. It was from a Mr. Robert Leech, and had the subject line:
"Compliment of the day".
How nice, I thought. I'll open this email and see something like:
"You are the most wonderful human being to have ever stalked the earth."
But no. I think the sender actually meant, 'COMPLIMENTS of the day". And what followed was equally dodgy.
"I got your contact in course of my inquiry to locate relations of my Deceasesd [sic] Client who died in a car crash on the 13th February 2003. The reason for this is to inherit a Contracts Payment Deposits Account of $8.5million of which the Deceased left in a Finance Firm.
Consequently, having gone through to your profile on Internet, I want you to please assist me to inherit the fund into your Account."
Lucky me, huh?
Of course, this is another scam.
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What you can do to get your
own back on these idiots
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You should delete anything that fished for your address, telephone number or bank details. Ignore anything that says you've won the lottery, anything from Nigeria or Holland asking for 'monies to be transferred'.
And delete anything like Mr Leech's email when it says
this:
"Rather than leaving the Deposits/Account frozen hence I seek your help to claim the fund into your Account as you share same names with the Next of Kin and I have the required Information to execute the transaction under legal process."
Er, WHAT?
I have the same name as a dead millionaire... so I'm entitled to hold onto his money for a while?
He goes on...
"I need your full mailing address, your direct telephone number/Fax number for this transaction to commence successfully. Be informed that your compensation will be 40% of this fund, while 60% will be my share."
Righto... but NO.
Mind you. Perhaps I shouldn't delete this. Perhaps I should write back to Mr Robert leech with the following...
(Feel free to use this as a template if you get one of his emails).
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Letter to a scammer
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Dear Mr Leech,
Thanks for your email.
I am very interested in your proposal, but have a few questions first:
1. You say I share the name of a deceased client who has died... could you tell me the exact date and time of the car crash?
The reason I ask is that last week something weird happened. At 11pm I was lying in bed trying to sleep, when I heard a voice shout, "HELP". I woke up with the feeling that some 'thing' - perhaps a spirit or demon - had "entered into me".
I wonder if this is the deceased asking me directly for assistance in the matter you describe?
2. Could you confirm your client's full name?
You see, legally, I have an extra middle name, which may or may not correspond to your client's.
The middle name (it's double-barrelled) is "Heston- Fandango". Please confirm if this is also your
(deceased) client's middle name.
If you can answer the above queries for me, perhaps we can move forward on this exciting proposal.
Yours sincerely,
Charlie 'Heston-Fandango' Wright
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But seriously folks. Watch yourselves.
Remember Dr William Hill's Red Ribbon Rule: 'If a deal sounds too good to be true, it IS too good to be true.'
Talking of which...
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Watch out for The Racing Secrets
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I've had a few emails asking about 'The Racing Secrets'
promotion that's been doing the rounds recently.
I was about to investigate it for this week, when I got an email from Clive Keeling of 'What Really Wins Money' on the very same subject.
I don't know if you get it, but Clive has a free e-letter that looks at the latest racing opps and scams - well worth subscribing to if you like a flutter.
Go here and sign up - it will cost you nowt:
http://www.canonburypublishing.com/wins
Anyway, regarding The Racing Secrets...
Being a lazy sod, I'll just go ahead and repeat what Clive said, as it made me laugh...
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THE RACING SECRETS CALCULATOR
By Clive Keeling
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Another one being heavily marketed via email, and really these guys have bigger noses than Pinocchio and Gerard Depardieu put together.
Here's the latest marketing spiel:
"The word is that the system has been exposed, and they are trying to get the calculator delisted and banned. Such is the success of the new software and manual the powers that be at the betting exchanges are on to it!'
Excuse my French, but this is utter Bertie Ollocks!
Firstly, who is the 'they' the emailer refers to? I presume they mean Betfair.
If they do mean Betfair, then why on earth would a company who make money by commission want to ban an instrument which will increase the turnover on betfair accounts, and hence commissions for Betfair?
Do these system sellers think we're all Jade Goody?
The email gives clues as to what this system is. It is a software calculator which, it would seem, follows the live pricing markets and determines for you which horses to back and which horses to lay.
I may purchase this, as I could do with a laugh, but would suggest you hold fire and delete the emails as they appear.
This suggests that racing secrets is a pointless purchase for those who have to work during the day.
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Thanks for that, Clive.
(It's always good to legally steal other people's work and slip it into your own e-letter!)
More cheekiness soon...
Oh, and don't forget to check the latest on:
http://www.bizoppjungle.com
Charlie Wright
The Biz Opp Jungle